W.A.L.T recall events through the eyes of an animal.
Success Criteria
I know I will be successful when my recount has a
- Title
- Orientation: When? Who? Where? Why?
- Sequence of events: What happened? Describe using the senses (hear, taste, see, smell and feel).
Personal Comment: How did the events make you feel
First draft
The lions strike!!
4.5.12 It was another amazing day in Africa. With my herd my dad is the king of the herd so he safes all the poor kids from the lions. We were are all walking across the bank to get to the water hole. I noticed dad’s shadow is dark it’s like in a cave, It’s like my safety blanket But I'm Just a calf. Suddenly my dad stopped I knew something was not right we had crossed company my dad tasted lions. “Run my dad roared” the herd quickly ran as fast as we can my heart was pounding as fast as it could. suddenly something was on my back I felt the lion for the first time. There was a sharp pain going down my back their was a big scratch I lost my balance. SPLASH!!! I fell into the water I got dragged out but then SNAP!! a crocodile got me now they were playing tug a war for there lunch I was the rope sadly. The lions won the fight between the crocodile and the lions I could hear my herd coming back to save me. I could smell freedom. All I could see was the lion for my first time. Here comes my dad with the herd they quickly grabbed me out and chased after the lions. My dad sent out a big moo to say it was clear. I felt scared and frighten hope fully it does not happen again.
Thank you family I was frightened I did not think you would come back for me. Then dad sent out a big moo to say I was ok. I felt Scared after that it was a rough day. I was happy that you came back to save me.
Great job Mikayla! I like how you wrote SPLASH!!! and SNAP!!! It's really cool!
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ReplyDeleteMikayla, your recount is really interesting with lots of action. I really like the title. It's great to see you describing using the different senses, such as "I could smell freedom'. Your next step is to add more description to the part with the crocodile. It would be great to hear how you would be feeling during this battle.
ReplyDeleteMikayla, Your recount is really good there is lots of action in it. I really liked how you said I could smell freedom. I think you need to talk about the crocodile part a little more, It would be great if you told us about how you are feeling in this battle.
ReplyDeleteThanks I just thought about juicy words and i pu them in it
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